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Sunday, March 30, 2014

Tiber River Cafe--Sacrament of Marriage


Hello, and welcome to the Tiber River Café.  My name is Dean Humphreys, and today’s topic is the Sacrament of Marriage.  We read in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 19 verses 4-7, that Jesus said, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”  This is the Sacrament of Marriage.

The Catholic Church recognizes seven Sacraments: Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Matrimony (marriage), Holy Orders, Anointing of the Sick, and Reconciliation (also known as confession).  We believe that there is a sacred reality to each of the Sacraments and that each Sacrament points us towards Jesus.  Catholics believe that each of the Sacraments was instituted by Jesus himself, pointing to Biblical events in the life and ministry, as well as the stories and teachings, of Jesus of Nazareth, our Lord and Savior. 

Each of the Sacraments also points to the Christian life, as we participate as a faith community, in the celebration of the Sacraments.   The Sacraments are signs and a means to God’s graces, the graces that are needed to live a truly Christian life.  The Church teaches that we cannot earn grace, for God’s grace is a free gift of Himself as the controlling influence in our lives.  Sacraments are the life of the Church for they help to make us more holy people, they help to build up the Body of Christ, and they point us towards God.

In the Book of Genesis, chapter 2 verse 18, we read, “It is not good that man is alone.”  God created marriage so that by design man and woman should complement and complete one another, we draw strength from each other, and we encourage each other’s spiritual growth.  The husband and wife give themselves to each other, they give themselves to their family, and they give themselves to the larger community.  Each spouse models the love Christ has for his Church. 

In the Book of Genesis, chapter 1 verse 27-28, we read, “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply.”    Husband and wife are equal in human dignity and in marriage both are equal as one.  The union of man and woman, the bride and groom, reflects the symbol of divine union between Christ, who is the Bridegroom, and His Church, the Bride.  

We read of this union between Christ and His Church in St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians, chapter 5 verse 21-31, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over to her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”  And the union between husband and wife helps each spouse to cooperate in the raising up of their children in the Faith.  The married couple has children, we raise and care for our families, we educate our spouse and children in the Faith, and we provide the necessary moral and ethical training for future generations.

The Catholic Church teaches that matrimony is ‘the sacrament by which a baptized man and a baptized women bind themselves for life in a lawful marriage and receive the grace to discharge their duties.”  The marriage bond is between the two spouses and God.  This mutual consent is sealed by God, and the man and woman enter into a covenant agreement with God, this covenant can never be dissolved, even the Church cannot break this irrevocable covenant.

From marriage comes the family and the Christian home is called ‘the domestic church.’  It is within this domestic church that parents teach their children our Catholic faith, to love, to seek justice and truth, and to honor God.  The Church teaches that parents are the principal and first educators of their children.  Parents teach their children to love and care for our neighbors and to care for the larger community, for we are a universal Church.

The Sacrament of Marriage is more that the civil legal contract between a man and a women which can be provided by the state and marriage is more than simply obtaining certain government and civil benefits.  The Catholic Church believes that marriage is more than a civil contract, the Church holds firm that marriage is a covenant, a sacred oath between the bride and groom and God.  A simple definition of covenant is an agreement between people, in this case it is a perfect oath between God and His people, but it is more than just a contract, for a covenant binds one to the other in a ritual manner. 

In marriage the man and woman become one flesh with vows taken before God.  A marriage covenant refers to the relationship between a husband and wife, the permanent lifelong union between the two persons.  The union between man and women is the sacrament that makes it a loving sign of the union between Christ and His Church, as we read in St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians, chapter 5 verse 25, “love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church”.

The mark of the Sacrament of Marriage, its external sign, is the wedding contract itself.  The contract is not the license issued by the state, but rather the contract between the man and the woman, the vows that each spouse makes to the other.  And as long as each spouse intends to maintain a true marriage, then the Sacrament of Marriage is completed.  The effect of this sacramental marriage is an increase in God’s sanctifying grace for each of the spouses and a participation in the life of God.

Marriage is common to all peoples and cultures, from the beginning of human existence, as we read in the Book of Hebrews, chapter 13 verse 4, “Let marriage be honored among all”.  But the Catholic Church believes the covenant bond between the husband and wife is sacred.  Their marriage is a lifelong union for the purpose of having children and mutual support, which is love.  And the Church teaches that the marriage between two baptized Christians entered into with the intention to contract a true marriage is a sacrament.  The marriage is when one gives oneself totally to the other person, a public statement of love and fidelity.  And this union mirrors and reflects the union between Jesus and His Church, it is a symbol of God’s love.

The Church helps the couple prepare for their marriage through discussion, instruction, and prayer, often called Pre-Cana classes, as in the Wedding of Cana.  We read that Jesus not only approves but promotes the goodness of marriage and the happiness of the couple.  We read in the Gospel of John, chapter 2 verses 1-11, how Jesus and his disciples attended the wedding celebration at Cana, where Jesus performed his first miracle, turning water into wine.  The bride and groom are to prepare themselves for the Sacrament of Marriage by first receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

The marriage is a public sign celebrated within the faith community of believers.  The ministers for a sacramental marriage are the spouses themselves.  The priest or deacon serve only as witnesses.  The Catholic Church strongly encourages Catholics to have a wedding Mass, called the Nuptial Mass.  The marriage ceremony is a liturgical act to be celebrated within the Christian community which confirms the goodness and sacredness of marriage.  The Nuptial Mass is a very special blessing for those starting the holy vocation of marriage.

During the Rite of Marriage, the ceremony itself, the man and woman exchange wedding rings as an outward sign and reminder of their love and fidelity to one another.  During the exchange of wedding vows the man and woman promise each other their mutual love and support, they promise to give freely of themselves to the other.  They promise to help each other despite trials, hardships, and disappointments.  They promise each other that there will always be love and forgiveness.  They are now in a state of life called marriage, perpetual and exclusive.

A Sacrament is an outward sign that confers an inner grace.  In marriage the outward sign is the exchange of marital consent.  The couple administers the Sacrament of Marriage to each other, they join into a covenant agreement with God for Christ is at the center of all Christian life, the priest or deacon serve as the witness to this covenant, to bestow the Church’s blessing.  The priest or deacon is simply the official or witness to the Sacrament, representing Christ and His Church and offering the Church’s blessing. 

But it is important to remember that the presence of the priest or deacon is absolutely necessary, for without the priest or deacon there is no sacrament.  As Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John, chapter 1 verses 7-9, “’For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’.  Therefore what God has joined together, no human must separate.”

There are four basic elements that are common for a natural marriage.  The first element is that the marriage is a union between opposite sexes, male and female.  Second, the marriage is a lifelong union, the union only ending when one spouse dies.  Third, the marriage union excludes any other unions with any other person, that each spouse must remain faithful and monogamous.  And fourth, this lifelong marriage union and exclusiveness are guaranteed by a contract.  The Catholic Church also teaches that the marriage has a supernatural quality in addition to the basic natural elements.  For all love comes from God, for God is love, and the Sacrament of Marriage is a sign and symbol of God’s love.  This love then spills out to others, the married couple’s children, their families, as well as other members of their faith community

It is not always easy being married.  It is not easy for two people to live with each other day after day, year after year.  We have faults and defects, we get on each other’s nerves, and we often grate on each other.  But over time, and with much patience and prayer, we come together in our mutual growth.  We grow into one body, physically and spiritually, and we evolve into the fulfillment of the Sacrament itself. Our married love is caught up into the love of God. 

So there you have it, a rather simple explanation of the Catholic Church’s Sacrament of Marriage.  Marriage is the sacred and lifelong covenant between one man and one women, in the presence of God.  Something to think about this Sunday at Mass.  I also encourage you to check out my pages on YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook; as well as my blog on Blogger, where I have complete transcripts of all my videos.

Well, thanks again for stopping by the Tiber River Café, where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time.  Peace be with you

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