Tiber River Cafe -- A New Direction

Welcome to the Tiber River Café.    

I am been having a blast with Tiber River Café, but I feel the need to take the Tiber River Café project in a slightly different and better direction.  I have learned a little bit about the world of Catholic evangelization over the past 6 months, mostly a learning experience of trial and error.  The concept of the Tiber River Café remains the same which is to show the truth and beauty of the Catholic Church, and to share this beauty and truth at no charge utilizing free resources that anyone can easily use.   

Pope Francis writes in The Joy of the Gospel:  “In virtue of their baptism, all the members of the People of God have become missionary disciples.  The new evangelization calls for personal involvement on the part of each of the baptized.  Every Christian is challenged here and now, to be actively engaged in evangelization: indeed, anyone who has truly experienced God’s saving love does not need much time or lengthy training to go out and proclaim that love. . . . So what are we waiting for?”

I will  continue to offer daily Scripture passages from the Catholic Mass on my Twitter account (www.twitter.com/Tiber_River).

I recently started and I will continue to post photographs of our local churches in the Diocese of Syracuse, New York to show the stunning beauty of the Catholic Church at the parish level.

So there you have it, a new and better direction for the Tiber River Café. 

The Tiber River Café, where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time.  Peace be with you.

Tiber River Cafe--My Faith Journey, part 5

Hello, and welcome to the Tiber River Café.  My name is Dean Humphreys, and today’s topic is part 5 of my faith journey.  Our family has grown with the addition of our son, Peter.  Becoming a parent had expanded my faith journey showing me what fatherly love is all about, and the love our Father in heaven has for each of us.  Not only was I adding cobblestones to my faith path every day, but now I was also trying to teach our Catholic faith to Lisa and Peter, not necessarily with words which can be drowned out and ignored but more importantly by my example as a husband and father.

Starting at a very early age we would say our night-time prayers with Peter, Our Father and Hail Mary.  We would always have our evening meal as a family and starting at a very early age Peter would be the one to say grace before our meal, “Bless us, O Lord.”  We continued to attend weekly Mass, at first on Sunday mornings at 9 o’clock, and then as Peter got a little older he preferred to attend the Saturday evening Mass at 5:00 (so he could sleep in a little bit).  I would also read one page from the Catholic Children’s Bible each night as part of our bedtime routine.  This came to be known as “Two Minutes” as it takes about two minutes to read a page from the Bible. 

As Peter continued to mature and advance through the elementary grades we changed to the Catholic Bible, again one page every night as part of his routine.  He read through the New Testament about 3 times and then he expanded his daily readings to include the entire New Testament.  So far he has finished the New Testament several times.  Eventually we added one page from the Catholic Catechism, the YouCat, making an additional two minutes.  I will ask, ‘did you read your two minutes last night, with the response always, ‘yes’; but I’m not totally naive and realize that some nights he doesn’t read from Scripture, but I think that for the most part Peter does read Two Minutes. 

One day we were riding our bikes around one of the smaller Finger Lakes near our home and during our conversation he said something very insightful and I responded, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  Peter then responded that it read, “Well done, good and faithful slave” as it reads in his Bible.  I think he is reading two minutes most nights. Will he continue into his college years?  I hope.  We have always tried to let Peter make his faith decisions, within reason; we have tried to attend weekly Mass but there have been times when we miss.  But mostly the idea is that we should be happy to go to Mass for one hour and that it only takes 2 minutes to read a page from the Bible.  We are trying to have Peter start his own faith journey and to add his own cobblestones to his spiritual path.  

Well, I had worked at the private cardiologist practice for 7 years and felt that I could use a change.  I started looking around and was encouraged by a friend to call her friend at the Syracuse VA Hospital.  I was really not interested in working at the Syracuse VA but decided to call her friend to see what might be available.  I had scheduled a Friday off for a 3-day weekend and called her that morning and she told me that they were looking for a cardiology nurse practitioner (my specialty) and she encouraged me to contact Human Resources.  I then called the person in Human Resources who invited me to an interview that morning at 11:00; two additional interviews that Friday afternoon, and then another 2 or 3 the following week.  I entered the hospital that Friday not overly excited, but once inside I knew that it would be a perfect fit. 

I knew this was the Holy Spirit working in my life, everything was falling into place at a very rapid pace.  I was offered the position and I accepted—one of the best decisions of my life.  Not only do I get the privilege of caring for our nation’s veterans, some of whom live in a lower socioeconomic circumstance, but the hospital also has a chapel with a full-time Catholic priest, daily Mass at 11:30 and an Adoration Chapel open 24 hours a day.  It took me a year or two to find out about the chapel, but I have been attending daily Mass for the past several years. 

As the chapel is interdenominational I set up the chapel each morning for Mass, and participate in the Mass as the Lector.  I have the fantastic opportunity of receiving the Eucharist every day, and every day I add some more cobblestones and my spiritual path continues to grow.  I can see how the Holy Spirit continues to move in my life every day, changing careers to be a nurse, converting to the Catholic faith, getting married, having a child, taking care of the poor and often neglected, working where there is daily Mass; there really are no coincidences. 

So there you have it, the fifth part of my faith journey to the Catholic Church.  Thanks again for stopping by the Tiber River Café, where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time.  Peace be with you.

Tiber River Cafe--My Faith Journey, part 4

Hello, and welcome to the Tiber River Café.  My name is Dean Humphreys, and today’s topic is part 4 of my faith journey.  I was now a card-carrying Roman Catholic and knew the secret Catholic handshake (to receive Communion). 

So getting back to the story, Lisa and I were married on November 28, 1992, over Thanksgiving weekend as I was still in nursing school.  We had a beautiful wedding Mass on a sunny fall afternoon, surrounded by family and friends on our very special day.  We rented a trolley instead of limousines and had an ice cream cake at our reception (Carvel made it look like a traditional wedding cake, with chocolate crunchies, and people were coming up for seconds and thirds!).  We have always tried to live our marriage as the sacrament that it is, so we wanted to start our life together with Mass.    Nursing school graduation finally arrived later that spring and I was asked to do one of the Scripture readings at the ceremony.  I knew I wanted to read from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 25, “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me,” which nicely summed up my new nursing vocation.  I liked working at a Catholic hospital, there was a Crucifix in every room and a very clear life-affirming mission. 

Our first apartment was close to the hospital, but we traveled about 20 minutes north to continue our Mass attendance at St. John’s.  Every time I dipped my fingers in the Holy Water upon entering the sanctuary I was reminded of my own baptism just a few months before.  Lisa received her graduate degree in education and then I started my graduate studies in nursing.  We eventually saved enough money and in the mid-1990’s we bought a small townhouse, which was about 2 miles away from St. John’s. But our home was basically across the street from St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church, and Lisa’s sister went to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, so we made the switch.  St Elizabeth Ann Seton is also a beautiful and modern-looking building, very minimalistic interior, no kneelers, and no stained glass.  We have been at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton ever since.  I continued to read Catholic books, mostly RCIA-style catechesis and Catholic faith formation books as well as books by Catholic authors such as Scott Hahn.  My faith continued to slowly mature and I continued to add cobblestones to my spiritual path.  Lisa and I enjoyed our new faith community.  

            Lisa and I wanted to start our family but unfortunately we were unsuccessful in our attempts.  We spoke with our parish priest and did some research regarding Church teaching regarding options for having a baby.  Lisa and I went through testing and thankfully everything was normal, we simply weren’t having any luck.  Lisa started on medication to help stimulate her ovaries, knowing very well of the increased chances of a multiple birth.  We finally became pregnant and were thrilled at the prospect of becoming parents.  I was nearing the end of my graduate studies and was in my OB/GYN rotation when Lisa was pregnant which made for some interesting dinner conversation. 

During my OB clinical work I was concerned that I would be required to have a role in abortions and was ready to take a firm stand regarding life issues, but the confrontation never materialized as I worked mostly in a healthy pre-natal and well-baby clinic.  Lisa had an ultrasound after a few months that determines gender and we found out we were having a baby boy, and everything looked normal.  It was recommended that Lisa have an amniocentesis to check for certain birth defects/abnormalities, but we refused the testing as an abortion was not an option, we would follow the will of God.  We started to talk about names and we each made out our ‘top ten list’; we wanted a traditional Biblical name, and Peter was on the top of both our lists, so it was a pretty easy decision. Nine months later, January 6^th 1997, Peter joined our family.

We were now a mom and dad, a truly wonderful and overwhelming feeling.  Peter was soon baptized at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and the ceremony brought back wonderful memories of my own baptism.  I graduated with my master’s degree and took a nurse practitioner position with a local cardiology practice which allowed me to work normal hours, Monday through Friday, with no weekends or holidays.  Being home for dinner each night and fully participating in family life and events was vitally important to me.  I did not want to miss anything and wanted to savor every moment of our life together as a family.  We wanted more children, but unfortunately we were not able to conceive again and we were not willing to undergo procedures not allowed by the Church. 

So we have been truly blessed with one child.  We looked into adoption but the financials were staggering; Lisa was a stay-at-home mom and I was working as a nurse—even living very modestly there was not a lot of money at the end of the month.  Peter started attending the parish pre-school at the age of 3 and he continued until age 5, and he had his First Confession and First Communion soon thereafter.  Simply more cobblestones on my spiritual journey.  Lisa and I thought about having Peter attend the local Catholic elementary school, but the reality of our financial situation (one income as Lisa was a stay-at-home mom) and the high cost of tuition just did not allow it. 

We have been very happy with our local public school and Peter has continued to excel both academically and musically.  St Elizabeth Ann Seton has a very vibrant youth education system starting in early elementary school and continuing through Confirmation in the 10^th grade.  Lisa and I believe that the family, the parents, should be Peter’s primary teachers of our Catholic faith, our domestic church.  Every day we are talking to Peter, helping to guide him in his life, and demonstrating with our words and actions what it means to be a good person, to lead a holy life, the life God has intended for him and for us.  

So there you have it, the fourth part of my faith journey to the Catholic Church.  Thanks for stopping by the Tiber River Café, where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time.  Peace be with you.

St. Margaret's Church, Mattydale, New York

I recently visited St. Margaret's Church in Mattydale, New York.  A special thanks to Fr. Robert Hyde for allowing me the opportunity to take some photographs.  The beauty of St. Margaret's is inspiring.

So there you have it, the beauty of St. Margaret's Church in Mattydale, New York. 

And thanks for stopping by the Tiber River Café where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time. Peace be with you.

Tiber River Cafe--Part 2, Prayer of Thanksgiving to St. John Paul II

I was praying that this was not happening, I was praying for strength, I was praying that we would be going home later in the day but realized that Lisa would likely be admitted at least overnight for observation.  There was only curtains, very little privacy, but I closed the curtains as much as possible.  I simply sat next to Lisa and we held hands tightly, interlocking our fingers like we do when we are walking together or dancing.  The nurse was in and out the entire time, checking on Lisa, offering extra blankets, very nice and attentive.  I asked the nurse where she went to school, and told her that we are fellow alums.  I shared with the nurse that I also was a nurse and that I had worked in this ER many years ago. 

About that time the young doctor came into the room but with no smile and a look of concern, and pulling a chair closer to the stretcher he told us that the EKG and the chest x-ray looked fine, but that there was a 1 cm mass in the left temporal area of Lisa’s brain, that with her history of melanoma this is a concern and he is ordering an MRI to better define the mass.  My head is spinning and my heart stopped.  I lowered my head and begged Jesus to be with us at this moment.  I am being told that my wife of over 20 years, the love of my life, my best friend in the whole world has a mass in her brain.  And I know from our previous encounter with melanoma several years ago that if there is metastasis to the brain that the life expectancy is perhaps 2-3 months.  I am being told that I will be burying my wife by the end of the summer. 

Lisa looked at me with big tears in her eyes and asked me what this means, and I am trying so desperately to control my reaction, to control my emotions, because she is basing her response on my reactions.  I tried to calmly reassure her that the mass could have been there since she was born, that she has never had a CT of her head before, that it could be something that is just there and it has no affect.  I could feel the fear in her grip as we held hands tightly.  My knees are shaking.  I can hardly say more than 2 or 3 words without my voice quivering.  With a small whimper of a 5 year-old’s voice she whispers to me that she is scared, so very scared.  She softly tells me that she doesn’t want to die.  My legs are shaking uncontrollably.  I had a million and one thoughts racing through my head over the next several minutes.  How am I going to tell our son that his mom is dying?  How will I tell Lisa’s parents, and my parents, that she is dying?  I never, not even once, asked God why this was happening to Lisa, why this was happening to us.  Why not us?  Over the years we have seen sadness occur to our family and friends.  We have been pretty much immune to life’s tragedies, and I would sometimes say that we will have our turn, that one day bad things would likely happen to us.  Well, that day was now here. 

Not once did I lash out at God or get angry or doubt my faith.  I remember talking with Jesus like a friend, asking him to be with us, to watch over us, to protect us.  I remember asking Mary to be with Lisa, to hold her tightly like a mother holds her daughter when she is scared during a thunderstorm.  And not once did I try to bargain with God, if God helped us then I would promise to do this or that.  This was the day that bad things were happening to us, to Lisa, and I felt completely and absolutely powerless to do anything about it.  All I could do at that moment was hold Lisa tightly and pray.  I tried to stay calm, I couldn’t say more than 2 words without starting to cry, but I needed to stay strong.  The doctor left the room and Lisa looked at me with big tears in her eyes and she softly said let’s pray.  She closed her eyes tightly squeezing out more tears, and I watched as her lips were moving in intense conversation.  My head was spinning, I knew I needed to pray at that moment, but I couldn’t think what to say other than please help us. 

Then I remembered that John Paul II, Saint John Paul II, suffered with Parkinson’s, a brain condition.  And that Lisa and I try to follow the teachings of St John Paul II on marriage and family life.  I have always said that I can’t wait to meet St John Paul II in heaven having felt like we were already friends.  So I asked St John Paul II to help us, to intercede for us, to help in any way possible.  And for a brief moment, perhaps 3 or 4 seconds, I could vividly see Lisa and I snuggling on the couch watching our TV show, things were back to normal and everything was calm and good again.  But then the radiology technician arrived to take Lisa to the MRI and I came along, I didn’t want Lisa to be alone.  As we left the ER Lisa took off her wedding band due to the magnet of the MRI.  The doctor had told us that he would be arranging for other specialty consultations for today, and I realized those consultations would likely be with oncology and surgery.  I wondered if those doctors would be waiting for us when we returned to the ER. 

We arrived at the MRI suite and we waited for a few minutes until the machine was ready.  The MRI is a noisy machine and Lisa would have to be moved into a small opening for about 20 minutes and to lie still.  She told me she was scared but felt she could do it.  Once the MRI was completed we were then taken back to her room in the ER to wait for the results, the results that would determine our next course of action.  I put Lisa’s wedding ring back on her finger and we just looked at each other in a moment of silence.  I felt completely helpless.  We simply sat there holding hands tightly, like when you are on a rollercoaster and are about the go over the top.  Lisa kept saying how scared she was, and my heart was breaking. 

We were trying to keep friends and family members aware of the situation as best we could, but not sharing the full severity of the situation.  My cell phone battery was running dry so I called our son and asked him to bring the phone charger to the hospital and that I would meet him outside.  He called me about 20 minutes later when he arrived and we met outside.  I told him some of the things that had happened so far, that the doctors were still running tests and that we didn’t have any definitive answers yet, that mom was acting normal and had been walking a little.  I wasn’t ready to tell our son any more than that, not yet.  I told him that we were just sitting there, probably for the next several hours, and there was no need for him to come in.  Lisa and I were in the process of getting the worst news of our lives and we wanted to go through this as husband and wife, it was a private moment.  We would tell our son later, once we were better able to come to grips ourselves with what was going on.  It was a beautiful sunny day, perhaps around 11:30 or so, and I suggested that he grab himself some lunch.  We hugged each other tightly and told each other ‘I love you’.  I watched him as he walked away, thinking to myself that he will be starting his senior year of high school at the end of the summer, and that Lisa would likely not be there. 

I went back into the hospital to be with my wife.  Jesus please be with us, please help us.  I sat next to Lisa and we held hands tightly, scared that if I let go she might disappear.  A volunteer came in to check on us and I realized that it was Joanne.  Joanne was the admissions counselor at the School of Nursing when I went to school there.  I said hello to her but simply couldn’t muster any more that a brief smile.  We just received life-ending news and I just couldn’t make small talk at a moment like this.  And then the paramedic who helped Lisa earlier that morning stopped in to check on Lisa before they headed out.  We thanked her for all her help, but again I just couldn’t make small talk at this moment.  And then we waited for the MRI results.  I didn’t mind waiting, actually I could have waited for a lifetime, because as long as we didn’t have the test results we had a sense of normalcy.  Once we received the test results our lives, Lisa’s life, would be forever changed.  And I continued to pray for help. 

I finally asked the nurse if she knew of any consultations that had been ordered.  She checked Lisa’s medical record and told us no orders were entered as yet.  And then I asked her if the MRI results were back yet.  She again checked the medical record and said that they were back and that she would inform the doctor.  My heart was pounding, we were about to get devastating news, and I prayed for strength, please give me the strength to handle what was going on, please give me the strength to support my wife at this terrible moment.  Lisa softly said that she was so scared as tears gently rolled down her cheeks.  I told her that I love her so very much and that we would get through this together.  Another doctor came into the room and said that the MRI results were back, and that she printed me a copy of the report because she knew that I would want to see it for myself.  She told us that the mass they had seen on the CT scan was no longer there.  I thought she said the mass is no longer there, but perhaps that was what I wanted to hear.  I asked her to repeat that statement again, and she smiled and said the mass is no longer there.  I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to focus my blurry vision on the report, I needed to see the name at the top of the page, yes it said Lisa Humphreys, and yes it was her birthdate, and yes the report said in several places that the mass that was previously identified was no longer present.  I looked at Lisa and she asked me what this means, is this good information, and I said yes that this is very good information, that she would be going home and we would be growing old together.  We embraced tightly and sobbed for several minutes.  After a few moments I again looked at the report, the name and date of birth, it didn’t seem real, but it was.  My wife of over 20 years, my best friend, and my soul mate was going to die; and now she is going to live. 

It was exactly 3 o’clock in the afternoon when we received this news.  I know the exact time because as we were holding each other and sobbing my watch was alarming.  I have my watch to alarm each day at 3 o’clock in the afternoon as a daily reminder of the time Jesus died for us.  With a great big smile I showed Lisa my watch that it was 3 o’clock, the moment Jesus died for us.  Thank you Jesus.  St John Paul II wrote that there aren’t any coincidences but rather we recognize the Holy Spirit moving in our lives.  I couldn’t stop saying thank you to Jesus, to Mary, and to St John Paul II.  My wife was going to die and now she is going to live.  We started sending messages to our family and friends that the tests had come back normal and that Lisa would be staying in the hospital overnight for further observation.  Lisa was discharged the next afternoon, the diagnosis for her symptoms was a severe reaction to a new medication. 

Later that night we snuggled on the couch and watched our 7 o’clock television show together, just like I had imagined.  And the next morning we went for a walk at the lake, and interlocked our fingers as we strolled along and enjoyed the moment. 

Tiber River Cafe--A Prayer of Thanksgiving to St. John Paul II

Hello, and welcome to the Tiber River Café.  My name is Dean Humphreys.  The following account (part one of two) happened to Lisa and I about a week ago.  It is all true, nothing is exaggerated, these are the events as they happened.  The power of intercessory prayer, thank you St. John Paul II. 

 

"Well, the chest x-ray and EKG both look normal . . . but . . .  the cat scan of your brain shows a 1 cm mass in the left temporal area .  . .” 

I was getting dressed for work on Thursday morning and put on the new shirt I received as a Father’s Day present just a few days before.  I remember thinking how wonderful it is to have my family.  Our son, Peter, had just finished his junior year of high school, and before we know it he will be off to college and our lives will change, but all moving in the right direction.  For over the past 20 years we have been a happy and healthy family.  No real issues or concerns, we have always been blessed.  I have a good job and we have no financial concerns, no health concerns other than an occasional case of strep throat.  Things are going pretty well for our little family.  So I kissed my wife, Lisa, on the forehead as I have every morning as she slept and I headed off to work.  About an hour or so later my wife called me on my cell phone.  She was very calm but her words were slurring a little bit.  She told me that she fell in the kitchen, she thinks she passed out but was able to grab the phone before she stumbled to the floor so I was pretty sure she did not lose consciousness, but now she cannot stand up.  I have worked as a registered nurse/nurse practitioner for many years in the emergency department, ICU, and cardiology, and my mind started racing as to what is happening and I tried desperately to stay calm. 

We were in the ER at St. Joseph’s Hospital just about a week ago, on Lisa’s 47^th birthday, after Lisa had a blurriness in the bottom part of her left eye.  She was evaluated by the ER physician, but no testing was done as all her symptoms resolved by the time we had arrived in the ER.  Lisa was diagnosed with an ocular migraine and discharged about an hour later.  We followed up with an ophthalmologist later that afternoon and she received a clean bill of health.  And now she told me she was able to crawl, but that she couldn’t stand up.  I was praying to Jesus to be with us at this time.  I realized the diagnosis of an ocular migraine may not have been correct.  Our 17 year old son was upstairs in his bedroom still asleep.  He’s a volunteer firefighter, but calling to him for help was not working.  Peter is a very sound sleeper, he sleeps with his door closed and he likes to sleep with a fan blowing, so his help was not an option.  Lisa calmly said she needed to call 911. 

Over the years Lisa has had episodes of dizziness which would pass within a few minutes, which were likely due to her lack of proper hydration.  But this episode wasn’t passing.  I agreed and told her to hang up the phone with me and then call 911.  It was still early in the morning and I knew our neighbors likely hadn’t left for work yet, so I immediately called our neighbor, Laura, and calmly told her that there was a situation in my home and that I needed her help, that Lisa had fallen and she couldn’t stand up.  Instantly Laura said she was going there and hung up the phone.  Lisa crawled to the front door and unlocked it.  Laura also called her brother-in-law, Steve, who also lives a few houses away to help.  He is the fire chief at our local volunteer fire station.  As this was going on I tried desperately to stay calm in my office.  I prayed to Mary to be with her children, to keep up safe.  I was 20-30 minutes away from my wife who needed my now. 

I walked to the reception desk and said that I had an emergency family situation with my wife and that I needed to leave now.  My day had just begun, I had already seen my first patient, and I had a full patient load scheduled for the rest of the day.  Our receptionist for the morning, Jerry, told me to go, that he would make all the necessary phone calls to my supervisors and he would start calling patients to reschedule their appointments.  I then walked back to my office, trying to stay calm and rational.  I told the other nurse practitioner, Andy, what was going on and that I needed to leave.  My voice started to crack at this point and I started to cry.  My cell phone rang and it was Laura.  She told me that Lisa was about the same, that Steve was there and that the paramedics were getting the stretcher out of the ambulance.  She told me she would call me right back when she got more information and which hospital they would be going to. 

It was so scary, there was an ambulance at my home getting ready to take my wife to the hospital.  I remember looking at my hands and realizing they were shaking and I couldn’t control the tremble, and then I noticed my new shirt that I was wearing, the shirt Lisa had given to me just a few days before.  I started turning off my computer and packed my backpack realizing that I may not be back to my office for a while.  Laura called back, told me that Lisa was on the stretcher, and that she was being taken to St. Joseph’s Hospital and that I should meet them there.  Andy offered to drive me there as I was having a difficult time controlling my crying, but I felt I was able to drive safely but appreciated the offer.  I left through a side door of the hospital to avoid contact with others and headed to the parking garage.  I kept reminding myself to stay calm, to concentrate on driving to the hospital, to drive under the speed limit. 

And I kept praying to God to help us, I prayed over and over again the Divine Mercy prayer as I drove to the ER.  As I was driving the 5 minutes to St. Joseph’s Hospital my cell phone rang again.  It was Laura who told me that the ambulance was about to the leave the house, that Lisa was talking, that her vital signs were stable, and they were not going to be going lights and sirens which she said was a good sign.  My voice started to waver as Steve got on the phone and told me that her blood pressure was normal, her heart rate and rhythm were also normal, and her blood glucose was normal which he said were all good signs.  I was barely able to say thank you and I hung up the phone.  I started to cry as I continued to drive to the ER because this was not good news, I wanted Lisa’s blood pressure to be low, I wanted Lisa’s heart rate to be too fast or too slow, I wanted so desperately that Lisa’s blood glucose to be low because these were all fixable things.  I knew that she really hadn’t eaten too much in the past 2 days, simply no appetite so it would make sense that these numbers would not be normal and that would explain what was going on.  It would be corrected in the ER and we would be home by lunch, perhaps dinner at the latest.  When a person has these symptoms it can usually be attributed to either the heart or the brain. 

As I kept driving through rush hour traffic the heart aspect was becoming less of a possible cause and the brain was becoming the possible culprit.  I again thought of the ocular migraine.  She was moving all her extremities, but she had been slurring her words, my mind kept racing as I pulled into the ER parking lot.  I took a deep breath, looked at the ambulances that were present and our local ambulance service was not there, and so I headed into the ER.  I went through security and was told that the ambulance was still in route.  Laura called a few minutes later saying that the ambulance had just left our house as Lisa wanted to say goodbye to our son Peter.  I felt so bad for Peter, to come downstairs and to see his mother on a stretcher, IV line, heart monitor and getting loaded into an ambulance must have been very scary for him.  As I was talking with Laura I could barely speak more than 2 words without my voice completely wavering because I knew that our world was coming apart.  I kept praying, asking over and over for God’s mercy. 

Several minutes later the nurse came to the waiting room and said that the ambulance had just pulled in and he escorted me to that area.  My heart dropped as I saw my wife of over 20 years, the love of my life, my best friend lying on a stretcher.  I tried to give a smile and an encouraging look as I walked towards her, knowing that she was looking for my reactions as to what was happening.  I knew she would be looking to me for reassurance and that she was going to be okay and that all this would pass.  I needed to maintain my composure even though inside I was falling apart.  The paramedics had written down her vital signs on the pillow case, all normal numbers.  The EKG monitor showed a normal rate and rhythm.  Lisa was moving her hands and feet, and talking normally again.  Perhaps it was a momentary event and we would be going home later that day after all.   Lisa was taken to a large room divided by curtains into 4 smaller patient areas.  I watched as she scooted herself from the ambulance stretcher to the ER stretcher, her coordination was completely intact, talking normally and showing a little nervous humor with the staff.  The room was a whirlwind of activity for the next several minutes as several nurses assumed care of Lisa, asking a million questions, attaching her to the monitors and obtaining a fresh set of vital signs and physical examination.  They did not know that I was a registered nurse, a cardiology nurse practitioner, with 20 years’ experience, that I had worked in this ER many years ago, and that I understood in minute detail what was going on.  I watched intently the neuro exam, all normal.  I scanned the monitors, all normal. 

Finally the room started to clear and I was finally able to move closer to my wife and hold her hands.  She was shaking and she was scared, very scared.  Lisa looked right into my eyes and asked very softly if she was going to be okay.  I looked into her hazel eyes and said yes, that I wasn’t going to let anything hurt her, and that she was going to be okay.  I told her over and over again that I loved her and that she is my best friend.  I was succeeding in putting on a supportive role, maintaining calm, maintaining a mostly normal voice simply because I was keeping the conversation to a minimum as my voice would start to quiver after about 3 or 4 words.  I was maintaining a sense of outward calm by redirecting my mind to happier thoughts, of watching our TV show at 7:00, of our new deck project that was going to be starting this weekend, and walking together at the lake. 

For the past year or so Lisa and I would put aside whatever we were doing at 7 o’clock and snuggle on the couch and watch a TV show for an hour, usually Law and Order, or some funny sitcom.  It is a way to just be together, to put aside everything else, to keep our marriage healthy.  We look forward to our 7:00 time together, the routine is very comforting.  How I desperately wanted us to be at our home, on the couch, watching our show.  I wanted all this to go away.  I turned my thoughts to our walk at the lake.  I tried to imagine the water, the birds singing, and I wanted to hear Lisa’s laughter and know that everything would be okay. 

Within about 2 minutes of Lisa’s arrival the ER doctor came into the room.  A young man, athletic looking; he introduced himself by his first name, which I thought was both professional and calming under the circumstances.  The doctor also asked a multitude of detailed questions and performed a neuro exam.  We reviewed Lisa’s past medical and surgical histories, which was really none existent as she was extremely healthy, the ocular migraine about a week ago, and a scare with melanoma about 10 years ago.  It was early stage and required minor excision with no further treatments or therapies.  Lisa continues to follow with her dermatologist every 6 months with no concerns since.  But I could see in the young doctor’s eyes a hint of concern when we mentioned the melanoma—then my panic alarms started going off—melanoma can metastasize to the brain.  The doctor reviewed the testing that he was ordering: EKG, blood tests, chest x-ray, and CT of Lisa’s head.  Within a minute or so her blood was taken and the EKG was completed, and the tech from radiology was outside the curtain to take Lisa down the hallway.  She returned about 20 minutes later and we simply held hands. 

Tiber River Cafe--My Faith Story, part 3

Hello, and welcome to the Tiber River Café.  My name is Dean Humphreys, and today’s topic is the third installment of my faith story, my personal testimony of my journey to the Catholic Church.  I was born and raised Protestant in the United Church of Christ and had a lukewarm spirituality for most of my early life.  It wasn’t until I met Lisa, my future wife, that my Christianity started to come alive.

The vast majority of people are baptized as infants, with no memory of that special and eternal event.  At the time of my conversion the Catholic Church did not recognize the baptism I had received as an infant in the United Church of Christ (I didn’t share this with my parents, wasn’t sure how they would have taken it), so I had the tremendous opportunity to be baptized again as an adult in the Catholic Church.  What a moment when the water was poured over my head and I heard the words that I was baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.   I had the biggest smile on my face, Lisa was crying, and a feeling of complete joy and happiness came over me, even though I didn’t fully understand the magnitude of what had just happened—and after more than 20 years I’m still not sure I fully understand the enormity of it all. 

I remember the very first time I received the Eucharist.  I anticipated for several months and with great expectation the first time I would receive the Eucharist.  I was so excited about receiving the Body and Blood of Jesus, although at the time I only had a very basic understanding of this mystery.  I have continued to pray and study about the Eucharist for the past 22 years.  The Eucharist is powerful and life-transforming, and the Eucharist continues to be the foundation of my faith.  I wanted to have a family and I wanted us to share a common faith, and my first Confession, Baptism, Confirmation, and First Eucharist were the first steps, on some pretty big cobblestones, in our lifelong faith journey as a family. 

 

My experience with RCIA and coming into the Catholic Church started in motion an interest, an insatiable hunger, for additional reading and study—and what started as a small ember of faith has intensified over the years into what seems like an unquenchable roaring fire.  I had a lot of questions about a lot of things Catholic:  confession, the pope and infallibility, heaven/hell/purgatory, saints, authority, and of course the big one, Mary.  From the very beginning I humbly accepted that the Catholic Church has been around for 2000 years and the Church knows a lot more about these things than I do, and that I would need to read, ask questions, and educate myself on my various uncertainties and difficulties.  I know it sounds pompous or arrogant to say “I accepted” but in reality I think the majority of people truly believe they know better than the Church, as evidenced by the number of baptized Catholics who continue to leave the Church.  And over the years each of my difficulties were clearly explained and the answers made complete sense.   I continue to add cobblestones to my spiritual path. 

 

The last major hurdle was Mary, probably a major difficulty for a lot of former Protestants.  At first I was indifferent to Mary, then perhaps a little interested, and then I wanted to have that loving relationship with Mary that I saw others cherish.  I kept reminding myself that 2000 years of Catholic theology and spirituality, with some of the greatest Christian thinkers in history, it just had to be right.  So I started praying the Rosary, for me a rather awkward prayer at first, but I kept trying.  I kept praying that I would understand Mary, that I would experience the joy and love of the mother of Jesus.  Then one evening after about 16 years of being Catholic and while praying the Rosary it became extremely and overpowering real, I received a convincing sign of the reality, and I wept.  I finally and thankfully understood and felt the love of Mary the Mother of Jesus.  And my love for Mary continues to grow. 

So there you have it, the third part of my faith story, my personal testimony of my journey to the Catholic Church.  Thanks again for stopping by the Tiber River Café, where there is always plenty of room at the banquet table.  I hope to see you next time.  Peace be with you.